Some Thoughts on Trust
They call it a trust fall for a reason.
You’ve probably played it at a summer camp or team building retreat. You stand on a platform of some kind with your back to the group. Then you let yourself fall backwards with the sense that the group will catch you.
It’s not a guarantee you won’t wreck yourself. The folks behind you may not catch you. They could just let you hit the ground. You may even doubt their strength and ability to perform the task at hand. Maybe they aren’t strong enough to catch you and you all get hurt in the process.
Yet, you fall backwards. And unless you are a character on Mean Girls, it mostly works out.
Trust is one of those things that is hard to build and easy to break.
It’s also one of those things that is totally vital to having a functioning society. Not just a functioning democracy but just having the ability to engage with other humans on a regular basis and survive.
From a hybrid cynical/capitalist viewpoint, we need trust to make more money. A recent piece in The Atlantic cited a study that looked at economic growth between high trust and low trust countries.
The economists Paul Zak and Stephen Knack found, in a study published in 1998, that a 15 percent bump in a nation’s belief that “most people can be trusted” adds a full percentage point to economic growth each year. That means that if, for the past 20 years, Americans had trusted one another like Ukrainians did, our annual GDP per capita would be $11,000 lower; if we had trusted like New Zealanders did, it’d be $16,000 higher. “If trust is sufficiently low,” they wrote, “economic growth is unachievable.”
So yeah, at a societal, relational and economic level, we need trust. And we’re in a “trust recession” as The Atlantic defines it. Most people, across political/ideological spectrums, would agree with that. I think where people disagree is how we got there.
I can’t answer that. I can’t answer how we build it (but I’ll try here at the end). The only thing I can do is try and make a case for trying to trust people more in 2022, even if it comes at a risk.
There’s A Difference Between Distrust and Healthy Skepticism
I think healthy skepticism is…well…healthy!
We shouldn’t blindly follow everything told to us. Thinking for yourself, forming your own opinions and not outsourcing all of your convictions to a third party is a must. God gave you a brain. Don’t let it go to waste.
What I have noticed from general observation is more of a default to distrust. The term “trust but verify” (which is actually a Russian proverb, not a Ronald Reagan original) has been misappropriated to how we interact with other humans in our neighborhoods. We presume everyone guilty until proven innocent.
I even catch myself in that thought pattern from time to time.
Just the other day, I was carrying a large package across a Target parking garage and a guy in the lot offered to help me get it to my car. My initial thought was “heck no this dude might rob me!” But I went against that impulse and received the help. Together, we got the large box to my car and he went on his way.
Instead of assuming the worst case scenario, I trusted that the guy was acting in good faith. As it turned out: he was. Receiving a small bit of help from a stranger probably restored a teeny tiny bit of faith in humanity on both ends of the transaction.
Should we be naive and Pollyanna in all occasions? No. Life is complicated and requires judgement calls and going with your gut. Discernment is a spiritual gift.
It’s important to remember most people aren’t out to get you. Most people want to help given the opportunity. I think the best thing we can do is assume the best intentions of people more often than we all admittedly do.
It Takes Zero Courage To Default To Distrust
Defaulting to distrust isn’t an impressive quality. It’s not a habit of being perceptive and wise. It’s’ a defense mechanism. And, quite frankly, it’s a cowardly way to live.
There is literally zero risk in not trusting people as your default position. Here’s why:
If something does go sideways, you have the ability to say “I told you so!”
If a situation you’re skeptical about does turn out okay in the end, you can say “well I was just asking questions.”
Yes, there is a chance you could trust someone or something and it backfire. Trust is always a calculated risk. Everything in life is always about risk evaluation and we as humans aren’t great at it.
Be discerning, yes.
But a general posture of distrust is no way to live. At least not a way I want to live.
As Hanlon’s Razor says: never attribute to malice what could be explained by incompetence (or something like that).
Control What You Can Control
My own unscientific opinion is that a default to distrust is a way to maintain some semblance of control in a chaotic world.
It’s embarrassing to appear as if we’ve been fooled and a posture of distrust protects us from that potential humiliation. At least it feels like it does. Nobody likes the wool being pulled over their eyes.
A lot of bad things happen that just don’t make any sense. Generally speaking (barring things like wars or institutional discrimination) random events that we can’t explain probably negatively impact us just as much (if not more) than some action or intent by an individual or organization.
A default to distrust gives us the illusion of control…but it’s just that. An illusion.
We can’t control random terrible events. What we can control is how we respond to events. How we can keep bad things from getting worse. Ways we can creatively turn a negative event into an opportunity for good.
Just Because There Are Reasons To Distrust Doesn’t Mean We Should Throw The Concept Out
There are plenty of legitimate reasons to not trust something or someone. Some groups don’t trust police officers. Others don’t trust the government. You may not trust a family member or co-worker. You may have valid reasons to not trust certain institutions or leaders of those places.
Heck, I don’t even trust farts anymore at this stage of my life.
But we have to work harder at rebuilding our collective trust economy. Like it or not, that’s going to take some leaps of faith. You may get burned a time or two along the way but we can’t afford to not try.
Where Can We Start?
I’m not sure where to start to be honest. But if I had to guess, here are three things we can do in our own spaces to build tiny bits of momentum. All admittedly easier said than done (and things I need to work on myself).
Make sure our own actions are worthy than trust. Because nothing destroys trust more efficiently than a good old fashioned double standard.
Give people the benefit of the doubt. Most people are doing the best they can with what they have. Generally speaking, most people are acting in good faith and try to do right by others. Most aren’t out to get you. Remember that.
Remember humans are imperfect people and worthy of redemption. There are times where people will screw up. They will justifiably destroy trust. They’ll do something in bad faith or make an error that hurts people. That doesn’t mean that they don’t have a chance for redemption later. We all do. A big part of trust building are acts of forgiveness. If you don’t offer people a shot at a second chance, you’re removing the incentive for them to be trustworthy to begin with.
What do you think? Are we in a trust recession? What would you do to fix it?